last feb plus camera

into woods


deeper in


main path


top


fairways


Ruin


huddle


fairway

mysterious

four

on heron pond

lone sad shivery christmas tree

fire

no disco

eaterie’s a-frame sign recumbent again. needs a stake down the middle. through woods crankily. spiky tree lying across main path. pause in dead end lane. bury hill? all right. aim for the sun. puppies on sunny little hill. poster on gate at top of private road. 80s disco fever. forget the 00s and the 90s and step back... running is my dancing. secret dancing. not all the time. not now. relieved to get to bury hill. off-road and downhill for a bit. through and out. past lake. up track towards downs. bloke ahead tottering through swamp. runner. not just me who does that. totter through swamp. runner crossing railway line. want to push climb but don’t want to overtake up steep narrow path. wait for a while at bottom. run up a bit, jog back down to bottom and go again. up, with no uncivilised overtaking. enough up. down pilgrims' way. close on runner. slow down, nearly at end of way. runner stops. starts again. flipping heck. overtake slowly. listening to i-pod. through park. ridiculous lights ablaze in car park by church. lake full to the brim. moorhen balanced serenely on submerged wooden edge. achilles hurts. run has felt submerged and wooden. slow finish doesn’t even have usual slow finish hand shaking, side to side head lolling, alternate shoulder shrugging, and arm waving - another secret dance. still in a rut but change of scenery was all right.

guardient

why golfers never set foot in the woods.

sequins

rain that was sleet that was hail bows out. bloomin cold. no noticeable benefit from stretching. usual cranky pit stop in woods. slowly up main path. pause in dead end lane. across to bury hill? no. slowly slowly down slippery, rooty slope. wood end of coach road annoyingly slippery. puddly mud around stiles. woman with jack russell outside farm. tells jack russell to let me pass and stop grumbling. over tiny bridge over streaming ditch. over stile. now facing bright bright sun. field is in sequins. under bridge. flooding again at bottom of ploughed field. ratty lane back to woods. small lap in woods, pointless pussyfooting down slope again. also want to get back and do more pointless stretching and first weights for too long.

out

could have run early or late yesterday but didn’t. foul today. gales and spitty rain. don’t mind. aching. mind that. one lap of usual. pass dog walker on coach road who is always muffled up in a hood like kenny’s. understandable today. straight into gale across fields. don’t mind, can work hard without having to stride out. back for usual lap of woods. stride out home. proper hamstring stretching after. only way out of rut.

rut

sun. pain. woods. people. coach road. people. fields. coot, or moorhen, running to fishing pond. stony track. suffering. group of walkers ahead. walkers leaving track. dog gives chase. wet black dog takes mouthful of gloved hand. stop. woman runs up. say to dog that way and point. woman asks if ok. back into woods. round again. stiffening. think i just wiped mouth with wrong glove. back into woods. round woods. home. rut.

currents

so difficult. trousers? shorts? long sleeves? short sleeves? obviously gloves. start with gloves, go from there. go short as not going far. easier start today. until woods. stop same place as yesterday to do same thing, at same time. thankful for the woods. can be a sort of sheltering harbour at the start of a run. does have its tough currents, and the occasional rum cove. don’t look at blackberryin’ squad in their black car halfway up dead end lane. better along coach road but puffing. training hasn’t been great, hope it’s stiffness and not loss of fitness. rubbish across fields. man tugs then hugs furious spaniel halfway up stony track. mallard duck and mallard drake side by side by heron pond. hands on knees at top of partridge lane. back in woods, easy detour around da squad. in the cause against embarrassment say hi to bill woman. realise it was her approaching as left coach road, so also shows wasn’t avoiding her. embarrassment and misunderstanding, who needs them. maybe bill does. unintentionally chase misunderstanding black and white cat out of woods. such a dodgy exit right on the lane. same run, same fast finish as yesterday. just lying on grass feels like stretching.

circulation

could have trained every day this week by running early or late but um didn’t. didn’t think resting would be beneficial either and it feels that way. moving about feels unnatural. and yet, somehow, it’s nice to resume. nice for the head perhaps. nice weather. usual parts kick and scream all the way to the woods. not listening. have to stop in woods. unignorable. loosen laces. often helps. onwards. ground feels hard. softens. still compromised along coach road. try to shake arms and shoulders loose, and hands warm. fingers pink, nails white, like they’re on too tight, like linuses. tight muscles affecting circulation perhaps. tight muscles to blame for everything. suffering as familiar walker approaches and waves so not to say hi again. say hi. dead magpie in first field. scattered dung in first, second and third. nothing else. back to woods. round woods. speed up. skip through daffodil shoots. stretch on grass.

magnolia

cloudy. smudged pastel. shorts, t, gloves. woods. runner in running gear. coach road. bloke on bench says something or other. fields. slow for tractor. lanes. legs dead, no way round again. lap of woods and out. stretch under magnolia.

no show

sunny sunny. shorts, no gloves. to woods effortfully fast. would’ve sunk if raced. try to sprint coach road. sunk without trace. enormous bright gold sun over fields. nothing turquoise. something grey. heron waving away from heron pond. tries to land on top of lone sad spindly christmas tree. flaps away leaving heron-head-and-neck-shaped top bobbing. puff up partridge lane. push on back to woods. round again? round again. sort of sprint coach road. sun gone. pink and turquoise sky. bonfire smoke at top of lane. could do with gloves. to woods and home.

unmuffleble

yesterday a rest, today a test to see if will run in tomorrow’s big race. unlikely. mind made up before woods. enter woods jogging, exit running. sprint coach road but shows up more undetected stiffnesses. fields empty and dry. something turquoise at end of last field. person. blonde girl with turquoise scarf and big grey dog. smiles. stony track doesn’t seem so bad. lane does. couple ahead. suddenly aware of how noisily i'm puffing. unmuffleble. just manage a hi when one is required. back to woods. decide to do second lap of coach road and fields, just because. push along coach road. over the top of its gently humped back. turquoise. blonde girl carrying scarf now like i'm carrying gloves. try not to run into twiggy tree. smiles. looks like kate moss. a teenage kate moss. oh well. two smiles though. fields don’t seem too bad at all. nor rest of lap. back into woods. usual lap of woods? passing girl again might look suspect. unlikely though. follow narrow, less travelled path. round bend, big grey dog, girl, smiles. nothing from me but a glance again, have to watch footing. three smiles. if only... hm, long list. fortunately don’t pass again. must have been heading for the huge houses. beautiful world is a cruel world.

clueless

late start. to vineyard. run into manager of former, unpopular, elitist running team that poached other clubs' runners. pass occasionally and saw at last race. possibly due to embarrassment explain reason for rubbish performance. unnecessary detail. unnecessary full stop - he thought i was ‘rattling along’ at end. continue giving impression of being clueless idiot. says i can call if i ever want advice. says why don’t i give him my number. oh no. suspect he wants to coach someone. sort of have a coach and don’t want to give it anyway as find him somewhat pushy. give it. oh no. searches through rucksack. try to avert future awkwardness by mentioning our promising junior. seems interested. say i’ll have a word. rarely see junior and his coach wouldn’t be pleased. oh fuck. shouldn’t have stopped. idiot. continue sodding run. over downs to bury hill, as usual. virtual kicking of self fails to obscure increasing discomfort of achilles. truck full of tree parts pulls up in bus bay. some way past hear oi yelled aggressively. don’t think it’s for me but can’t see who else it’s for. not the best way to go about getting directions if that’s what they want. park feels spring like. canada geese gliding on water. run gradually slows to jog. still light. still kicking myself.

big bird

awful rusty start next to line of cars. little better in woods. main path. approaching three noisy hoodies. could turn left but just passed dog walker so what the hell. say legs up, knees up and SPRINT. could’ve been worse. fast along coach road but wind assisted and hamstrings protest. faster than usual across fields, albeit in bursts. up partridge lane like big bird. or something. not nimbly. back into woods briefly. push home so warmed up for stretching. stretch for a while lying on grass. quite like it. blankly smoky sky. fine raindrops drop. five or six enough.

plod

early spring-ish - 11 degrees, almost sunny. not ready for it. decide against shorts. tiredness and stiffness causing self-consciousness. legs look white. occasionally have to go through this sort of rubbish. reason hate traffic at the start of a run. to vineyard, overdressed. chimney sweep emblazoned on van parked across top of drive. passenger opening kfc box. wonder if when they saw me they suddenly, self-consciously thought, we’re blocking that drive. alley. need new shoes, little cushion left. flat. feel beaten up come top of vineyard. mildly shocked, didn’t know i was this stiff. muddy flinty paths up onto downs. thighs dead. realise these are the steepest hills i’ve climbed since the snow. steepness reveals tightness - no wonder i sank in the last race. muddy bridleway then last little climb. legs completely gone. plod past church and through gate by car park. add a little bit. only a bit, now i’m up. along then straight down. hate going down steep slopes, especially ones with loose surfaces, often hard to get going again once down. plod along pilgrims’. pause at bury hill to stretch hams. suffering. pause in town to say hello to former club mate. late for the chiropractor i think. again wonder if i’m imagining the slightly patronising manner. big pile of grey snow in car park by church. still so light through park. would prefer it a bit darker. perspiring, in pain... not pretty.

twiggy

gentle rain arrives as step out door. to woods. plan to go short and fast and get back for most of football. trying to move faster but tightness of calves all too clear now. probably tight from snow runs. back and shoulders are tight too, from weights and computer hours. creeps up on you, tightness. if i ever massage one leg loose the contrast with the other one can be truly astonishing; you wonder how you moved at all with both like that; and how you didn’t notice. being stupid probably doesn’t help. follow mountain bikers along coach road but can’t keep up. go wide as approach phoebe and nearly run into twiggy tree. breathing hard up partridge lane - result of tight back, etc. back into woods. expect to meet phoebe coming back from coach road but don’t. fast finish. stretch watching football. mute sycophantic commentary. bet that lot have massage on tap.

who's bill

can run. appears massaging calf worked, so tight calf probably caused heel pain. brilliant. final answer. reverse yesterday’s route. narrow path through woods, dog walker ahead. say hi as warning. unheard. say hi again. woman says bill. wonder if she misheard, say hi again. you're bill says woman. nonplussed, say i’m simon. oh, you look like bill says woman. possibly say oh. jokingly add who’s bill. end of conversation. wonder how old bill is. remember same woman saying hi a couple of months ago, remember thinking she said it as if she knew me. realise i was right to think that. pass phoebe. ignores me.

ow etc

experiment. worryingly zonked. what effect will running have? don’t want to rest, or rather, want to carry on with the recovery runs and stretching afterwards, otherwise will just stay stiff. jog off. ow. ow ow ow. effing heel, effing painful. don’t know why. jog and wince to woods. fiddle with shoe. jog and, ow, fiddle, round woods. couple of snowflakes. out along coach road. stop stopping, speed up and dare it to get worse. snowman watching golfers. stretch leg at stile. jog across fields. poor old cattle bellowing heads off in barn. nearly always better to be out. slip in mud. fed up but don’t feel zonked. not going fast enough. heel pulls up partridge lane. bit zonked at top. pain nips down ratty lane. and through woods. and all the way home. irritating. unexpected result.

wet wet wet

yesterday plus rain plus towering rainbow. oh and sign is suddenly standing. hmm.

wet

traffic. faster, looser, wait, wait, now go, go behind me - i know there’s a puddle - wait, wait, cross sides, looser, don’t wince. must be how bullied ballerinas feel. into woods. fiddle with shoe. pirouette around mud. so wet. to coach road. flooding has gone. shiny whiteness on golf course. might be snow but think it’s the river. over stile, across fields. water and watery mud. black trousers look rusty in low golden sun. maize crop rustling in wind, dry leaves like streamers. more shiny whiteness. vast sheet of water at bottom of ploughed field, looks just like snow. rats up rat run lane. some of blackberryin’ squad, as i know them, in car halfway up dead end lane by woods. various lads like to wait there for some reason. once wondered if they were going blackberry picking. through woods and back. recumbent sign with restaurant’s menu on has film of water. been lying on verge for several weeks. feel gordon would suggest they stand it up.

green free

stiff. looser than expected. rain. won’t penetrate layers. spray from traffic. saw it coming. woods = mud. find firm paths to fairway. golf course is green. wind and rain should mean no golf. one more round. wind is arctic. head for sheltered ramp. snowman still standing? is. is armless. arms are on ground. could be standing for weeks. brilliant. steal around course. greens are pools. stick to outside, outside is fine. onto coach road. end is flooded. step over fence, back onto course. dry path through woods. back to top fairway. snow in top corner. one more go... crunch. slip. so long snow. woods to lane then lane then home.